feeling your computer getting slower though the years is one of the most heartbreaking things ever
sockdreams.com is such a dangerous website omg you can drop so much money within the blink of an eye
I NEED ALL OF THEM
let me tell you about sockdreams okay. everything they have is cute and their “longer” socks which are for taller or curvier people are amazing. i am almost 6 feet tall and not a skinny lady and i bought some thigh highs thinking they’d end up being calf socks on me and just kind of resigning myself to this fate but when they arrived (in like two days, holy shit they mail out fast) not only did they pull all the way up without trouble, they managed to stay up and look cute. as. fuck. OP’s right yo, that website’s a threat to your wallet.
sockdreams is such a legitimate company and I love them a lot
Can you believe they call us criminals when he’s assaulting us with that haircut?
girls don’t like boys girls like accurate film adaptations of books
I’m sorry, you must be at least a level 4 friend to unlock my tragic backstory
“you don’t look depressed though”
oh yeah sorry i forgot to bring my literal dark cloud with me today
LOOK AT THE PUPPIES
I CANT EXPRESS HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME!
From now on i’ll only accept anon hate in morse code
You better watch your fucking tone or i’m calling the cops
This is the one time of year that I love wasps.
Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.
Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.
The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.
I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.
The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.
So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.
Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.
if u ever feel sad remember that robert englund once took a nap on the set of a nightmare on elm street in full freddy krueger makeup and when he woke up he looked straight into a mirror and scared the shit out of himself
this is the best story